Jennifer's Body

I had a lot of trouble figuring out Jennifer’s Body.  At first I thought I was laughing at the movie because everything was so ridiculous, but I talked to people and remembered to take in who wrote the movie.  Diablo Cody (Juno) wrote a very unique movie.  It’s a satirical spoof of horror films as well as a social commentary.

Needy (Amanda Seyfried) is best friends with Jennifer (Megan Fox) who is the hottest, most popular girl in school.  Everything is fine in their small town until an Indy band passes through.  They take an interest in Jennifer.  They need to sacrifice a virgin for a ritual that will make the band rich and famous, and Jennifer is their choice, but little did they know that Jennifer isn’t even a “backdoor virgin.”  The band gets what they want, but what they leave is a demon in the form of Jennifer.  Now she must feast on the flesh of humans to stay strong and beautiful.

The dialogue is great because it is so ridiculous and extremely quotable.  I laughed through the whole thing.  There were moments of suspense and even some spots that make you jump.  Megan Fox did a great representation of a high-strung high school girl.  It’s hard to believe that she says she was never actually popular in high school.  The photography was excellent.  There were a lot of unique camera angles and wide variety of shots.  The whole film was very visually interesting.  There was one make out scene in the middle of the movie was quite random, but guys will love it.

Rating: 3.0★ stars (out of 5)

Recommendation: This is a fun movie for those who don’t like scary movies.  There is a little something for everyone, but it’s more directed towards young adults.  I don’t think older generations will get a lot of the jokes.  It would make an good rental choice.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Ah, Transformers...what can I say? It brings out the little boy in all of us. Just the name, Optimus Prime, makes boys everywhere giggle like school girls.

Ah, Michael Bay...what can I say? He can make anything explode. Just the sound of his name sends crashes and bangs to my ears. He makes audiences everywhere “Ooooooh” and “Aaaaaaaah” with his high intensity actions sequences.

Here’s the deal with Transformers, you have to judge it on two scales: 1) compared to other feature films 2) compared to Michael Bay films. I have included 2 star ratings to justify the film for both scales. Most women will judge by the first, and from my experience, most men judge by the second.

The movie was essentially a 2 1/2 hour action sequence. I saw it at midnight, and frankly, I wanted to fall asleep because I got so action bored. In order for action to be awesome and exciting, there needs to be breaks, to allow the audience to catch up. I became numb to the action after the first hour and a half.

For all you drooling men out there waiting to hear about Megan Fox, here you go...

I was a little bit upset by how much she was objectified in this movie. In the first half hour, there wasn’t a single scene with her in it that didn’t include a full body tilt. I get it, she’s hot, whatever. Her acting was acceptable.

Shia LaBeouf sported a hand injury for a car accident in real life that had to be worked into the film. It worked out. His acting was by far the best in the film. He didn't have much to work with dialogue wise, but he worked it nonetheless.

Don’t get me started on the dialogue. If negative dialogue is the equation dialogue - explosions = total dialogue then this movie would be so far negative that it would reach the bowels of hell. Sure it was cute and funny in the beginning, but it had nothing to offer the story. (Ha, STORY!)

Rating: 2.0 ★ stars (out of 5)

Michael Bay Rating: 6.0 ★ stars (out of 5)

Recommendation: If you're not seeing it at midnight, at the IMAX, or are a man reliving his youth, then there's no need to see it. Renting it when it comes to the RedBox will be just fine, just make sure you have a big TV and preferably HD.